He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
