question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just found a bag of teeth...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize