Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You can't motorboat a personality
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
