Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
