At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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