I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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