okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
