I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
