I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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