OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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