I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
