Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
