fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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