he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
