everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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