If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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