in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
