You made me cry and you don't even care
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
