The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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