We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
