I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
