Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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