dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
