So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
