DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
