every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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