he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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