I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
