I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
are you so shy because you have an std?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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