Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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