Life is so much better after having sex.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
