i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
