is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
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