You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
