Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
