Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
