I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize