he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize