I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
