She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize