you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
