are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
