you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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