So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
