So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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