k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
