The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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