so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
