Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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