you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize