I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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