it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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