Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
