even my farts smell like vagina
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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