Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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