My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
