I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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