I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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